Today, I got a hug from someone.. I know your thinking "It's just a hug, or whatever I get those all the times." but something was different about this one.. something made it be the best hug ever. When this person hugged me it felt as if for that one second nothing else mattered.. Not in a romantic way or even a lovers way.. As a friends way. That made my whole entire afternoon. I just kept playing that over and over in my head. Yeah, I got so happy I actually happy cried. I know that is weird but whatever. (:
I am so sick of being ran over and pushed around like nothing. Shoot, I am 5'8 & a very very big girl and I can't even stand up for myself. What is wrong with me? I mean I don't like being ran over or pushed around but I am afraid of hurting someone else.. No one deserves to be made fun of or made fun of because you don't know there story or what that person is going through. I know you are probably thinking are you serious? Yes, I am. Two wrongs don't make a right. So, if someone is being mean to me how do I do something about it without being mean to someone else? I mean this person hurts me so bad & I can't do anything about it.
THEN, we went and looked at houses today.. So depressing.. Very depressing.. Nothing is as good as my house.. Nothing can be the same.. but I know from now own nothing else can be the same. Everything will be different.. My room, my heart, my thoughts, and summing that up my life will be different. It's not fair. I wanted to finish my high school with my mom AND dad but I won't.. I will finish my high school with my mom OR dad.. There is a HUGE difference.. Ugh, no one understands me. I try to explain but they already have that mind set "oh she is a strong girl she will get through it".. but you know what?! I am NOT as strong as you think. Yes, I know with God everything is possible but sometimes everything feels out of whack and nothing is okay. It is so terribly hard staying close to the people who are around me right now.. I am afraid someone is going to leave me.. If they do I don't know what I will do. I have 4 people right now if they left me I would not know how to function. I know that I should not put all my trust into man but it feels good for people to talk back ya know? We went to eat O'Charley's with some good family friends and of course I end up getting sick lol. Who woulda thunk? Anyway afterwards we went and looked at more houses.. (I think we looked at a million this week no lie.) then we dropped her off at her house. As we are coming home my brother decides to listen to Country music and the song "Picture to Burn" comes on as soon as "someone" texts me.. I kinda found it ironic how he should be someone that I burn their picture; but I just can't do it. He fulfills me.. He makes me happy. Sure, he left me but my dad left me and when he comes back I will accept him with open arms and Jesus accepted me back after I ran away so why shouldn't I accept him back? No one understands that either.
Sometimes I just feel like a misunderstood person..
but all it took was one hug to make me happy today(:
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